Posted in JusJoJan, SoCS

SoCS & Just Jot It January 30: An

An awful reunion dinner.

Every year, as the Lunar New Year approaches, my mood sinks to a bottomless pit. It all started during my younger days. We had to attend reunion dinner at my paternal grandmother’s house. (That’s where all my nightmares come.) My paternal relatives loved to compare me with my cousins. When young, they’d compare height. When schooling, they’d compare results. When working, they’d compare ranks. When in a relationship, they’d compare boyfriends’ career and wealth. Then houses, children, etc, etc… (It’s endless comparison, you get what I mean?) Once they achieved their goals of getting the answers they wanted, then I became totally invisible. Yet, I could not leave, else I would be considered rude.

I was delighted when that grandmother passed away. I thought my nightmare could finally come to an end. Who knows, my relatives continued the tradition. But I gave 101 excuses not to go. I know I’m bad. So I tried to attend one few years back. The result??? My whole family was invisible to them! What’s the point of inviting us and then make us feel unwelcome?

Besides that reunion, which I will not attend, I have 4 more reunions: my maternal grandmother’s, my mother’s, my father’s and my in-law’s.

I love the reunion at my maternal grandmother’s house. Those are the relatives I grew up with, and they accept you for who you are. We can quarrel this minute, and make up the next. We love each other.

My husband has his family too. So despite the inconvenience, we still make our way there every year. They are nice people, especially my sister-in-law, she’s the cutest of all.

My parents are divorced, and remarried. (The two couples are good friends, surprisingly!) Thus, we have to have reunion with them separately. They never spare a thought for us… (if you are wondering… my bro and I are never important to them. We are more of a burden to them!) My brother drives, so travelling is never a problem for him. My husband and I don’t. Taking public transport can be a hassle during festive season.

Therefore, I don’t like reunion dinners. Only enjoy 2 out of 5 reunions. That’s not a good statistic.

Ok! Enough of my rant. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bore you. Thank you for staying all the way. πŸ˜€


Written for SoCS and Just Jot It January 30, hosted by Linda G Hill. Thank you, Linda.

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82 thoughts on “SoCS & Just Jot It January 30: An

  1. my family experiences are also less than perfect and i choose my own company on holidays and special events…and of course now, i have my blogging community…if they dont treat me nice….i have a delete button…rofl….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh,I doubt SoCS can ever boring! I don’t know how I would survive that though. I was raised in a nuclear family,so only know a handful of cousins I met as an adult. Though the extended family have these kind of reunions, I have never gone to any. 2 out of 5 is a horrible statistic!

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  3. I am not surprised that you don’t like family reunions, they sound horrendous! Nobody wants to feel like they are not worthy, and being compared unfavourably all the time, is not going to do much for your self-esteem. I don’t blame you for going only to the ones you enjoy, and where you feel welcome and wanted! πŸ™‚

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  4. I’m sorry to hear how your paternal grandparents were. That is awful. And, I’m sorry you have to go to relatives homes that you feel you are being ignored. I don’t understand why people have their loved ones over for a reunion and then ignore them. I probably would be ‘down’ too if I dreaded the lunar holiday because of all of the family meals that you know you will be ignored. It really is their loss! I think you are a wonderful person! I’ll be glad when this lunar new year is over and you are back to your happy happy self. πŸ™‚

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      1. Remember that people often treat people the way your family treats you because they are jealous. Maybe they are jealous because you get to be a stay at home mother, or because you have an engineering degree, or because you are so happy. There could be numerous reasons. Maybe they feel inferior to you and your sweet family and they try not to show it by ignoring you.

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      2. Hmm… They ignored me even when I was little. My late paternal grandmother was the worse. Despite me helping her with the housework, this and that, she still liked my other cousins, who did nothing, and treated me like an outcast. 😦 Sounded like Cinderella, LOL! πŸ™‚

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      3. Oh, I see. That is terrible! I hate parents/grandparents when they have favoritism. Can you tell the people you plan to have holiday with that you and your family can’t make it? Or is it better now that your paternal grandparents have passed away?

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      4. I don’t blame you! I wouldn’t go either if I went to the trouble of going to their reunion and they ended up ignoring me and my family! I have a feeling then that it pulls you down because you feel guilty for not going. Try to not feel guilty about going (I know easier said than done), but really try not to feel guilty because you have nothing to feel guilty about!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. As much as we would love to change people to do what we want (for instance, have them make us feel loved and wanted), we can’t. It is out of our control. There WILL be a feeling of loss. That feeling feels like a big hole in our heart. Fill up that hole in your heart with the love of your own family, and validate yourself as being a wonderful mother and wife. Their thoughts and feelings toward you really are the only ones that matter.

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      6. I really do hope that what I am telling you is helping you to feel better. I have a problem calling you Fun. For some reason that doesn’t seem like a name, so I have decided I am going to start calling you, FUNSY!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s entirely too much of this going on in the world. I read about it, see it, and hear it all the time. You certainly deserve credit just for attempting civility. Good for you not bothering with all of them anymore. I’m sure you have plenty to do with your time, and better people to spend it with. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s never nice to compare like that if it’s done in a way that belittles. If and when I become a grandparent, I hope I’m more sensitive. Some people are more sporty, some are more artistic, and some are more academic. It’s all good. People can be different without one having to be better than the other.

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  7. Perhaps they are only inviting because “it’s the right thing to do” since they treat you so rudely when you are there. Hence if you gracefully decline the invitation they may actual be glad. I would only attend the reunions I really want to and not worry what the others think by my not going. Life is too short to spend it with those who don’t appreciate you. Send a nice flower arrangement or cordial instead of your feelings!! BTW I have chosen you to join in the Three Day Quote Challenge if you choose to participate, it’s not necessary, but if you would like to here’s the link http://onceuponahotflash.com/2016/01/31/quote-of-the-day-challenge-2/ πŸ™‚

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  8. I give you permission not to attend those awful reunions where you feel ignored and diminished. I would say it is them not you. Some kind of personality problem on their part. If people want to give you a hard time about it you could tell them you did not think they cared one way or the other. Really they sound like very manipulative people with all the comparing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am so sorry that you don’t get along well with your family! Life really is too short to be spending it with people that make you feel invisible or inferior. You are making the right decision by not attending. Have fun at the rest of them!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know! I just commented on your spam post! I am having the same problem as you! And omg! I wasn’t sure what was going on, I thought it was my faulty Internet connection. Sorry for the repeats!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know exactly what you mean, it’s the meeting of people that keeps me here. And I need at least 2 cups in the morning to clear out the fog. Energy drinks make me sleepy lol. I just crash right out. Sweet dreams my friend!!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh no, you never bored us. I love your honesty and rawness actually. No family is perfect and it takes courage to admit it. Nonetheless, may your family be blessed with great memories of reunion, maybe that’s how you can forget or somehow love reunions again. πŸ™‚

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